A Eulogy for Nani

If tears could build a stairway,
and memories a lane.
I would walk right up to Heaven
and bring you back again.

No farewell words were spoken,
No time to say "Goodbye".
You were gone before I knew it,
and only God knows why.

My heart still aches with sadness,
and secret tears still flow.
What it meant to love you -
No one can ever know.

But now I know you want me
to mourn for you no more;
To remember all the happy times
life still has much in store.

Since you'll never be forgotten,
I pledge to you today~
A hollowed place within my heart
is where you'll always stay.
-- Anonymous

 

Nani, or my maternal grandmother, was a remarkable person. She did not let her weaknesses overcome her, but took them in her stride. This may sound clichéd, but this was all very true. She was a woman whose husband had passed away when she was young, and raised three children on her own, not but once letting that feeling of giving up consume her. Maybe that's the reason that God had blessed her with a long life. She was 80, when she stopped aging and become immortal in our hearts. My grandmother had the spirit of a fighter in her. Her extremely gentle, humorous, always-smiling and sociable personality also housed a fierce and brave warrior, who never gave up and endured all the tests that it was put in. 

Nani with her great-grandkids!

                 

She survived three fatal cardiac strokes, a horrible fall that could have taken away her leg, and also so many difficult tests of old age with that tough inner being. But that being also made sure that she never missed a day, without smiling, and thanking the lord for the many things he had given to her. Sadly, there also come a time where God cannot wait any longer and calls a person to his domain. It was at that time, when the warrior could not take it anymore and succumbed to the trouble that diseases had put her through. It all had to happen today. The person, who had loved me so much, right from the time I was born, had to leave me suddenly, without even a last goodbye.

 

But I will not go on anymore. No amount of words in the universe will help me encompass all of her dynamic and bubbly, as well as soft and gentle personality in a short space. Try as we may, the pain her passing is intense and unbearable. But to cry while remembering her would give her the greatest pain, more that any malady had ever given her. I choose to remember Nani by remembering all the happy times I spent with her. The memory of her delicious food, whose taste no chef in the world could beat, the memory of the hugs and kisses she showered upon me, the laughs we shared together, as well as those study sessions, in which I was usually rebuked for using incorrect grammar, and the memory of her gentle, smiling face, her benevolent eyes with glasses on them, and the 'thuk-thuk-thuk' sound of her walking stick, will sustain me, and keep me from crying. It will be hard no doubt, to not cry, remembering her death, but the thought, that she is in heaven, smiling and seeing us, and showering her blessings upon us. With her love, guidance, and support from above, I'm sure that we will make it through without ever crying, only remembering the lovely time Nani spent with us, here on earth.

                

Rest in peace, Nani! You have carved a huge place in our hearts for yourself, you will never be forgotten!

~ Amay